Life is great… isn’t it? Sometimes, life works in just the right way. As I sat down to write my retirement letter, the final chapter of my 11-year career, my wife went into labor with our first child. (Heading to hospital, hold on for a second).
OK, I’m back. Labor can take a while, but it’s the perfect affirmation that I have made the right decision to hang up my boots. I couldn’t be more ready -- ready for the next chapter of my life, ready to wave goodbye to the pitch (the playing part, at least), but most of all, ready to embark on the most exciting journey yet, fatherhood.
As a father, I will face many of the same fears, challenges, and inevitable rewards I faced in my professional career. However, this time I will have a beautiful little girl and an amazing wife to share every moment.
But before we talk about the future, let’s discuss the current issue: retirement. It’s time to stop fighting my body. I’ve known for a while, but I’ve struggled to admit it to myself and to others. The countless sleepless nights, the aches and pains, and the constant mental battles were all signs pointing to a new path. But every time I was about to utter the three big words “I am retired”, all the memories of walking into roaring stadiums, scoring last-minute goals, and being part of amazing teams dragged me back! The same never-say-die attitude that drove me to fight like hell my entire career wouldn’t let me say the “R word”. I met every setback - and there were many - with a positive attitude. I responded to every disappointment with an “OK. What’s next?” Now, again, I must answer that question. What is next is being proud of my accomplishments, giving thanks to those who have supported me, and smiling at whatever the future holds, the first of which is a baby girl. (Quick update: We are now at the hospital and I should be a dad in the next few hours. My wife wants me to finish this letter quickly.)
So, let’s get started.
Item 1: Be proud. Certain memories are always at the front of my mind; representing the USA in the Olympics and a World Cup, two MLS Cup Championships with the Houston Dynamo, the last minute goal against Haiti, and how could I ever forget the pure elation of scoring the stoppage time winner for Bolton against Blackburn. Those are just a few of the moments I’ll be proud to bore my daughter with one day. However, those events didn’t shape me into the person I am today, and the father I am about to be. Those experiences came in the locker room with friends I was lucky enough to call my teammates and coaches.
Stu Holden and former MNT teammate Jay DeMerit prepare to board the flight to South Africa for the 2010 FIFA World Cup.
Item 2: Be thankful. Thank you, thank you, thank you to every single person who pushed me every day to be a better player and a better man, for giving me that extra motivation to keep fighting when I needed it, but most importantly, for the memories and ever lasting friendships. To the fans, thank you. Your support has never gone unnoticed and you've had a bigger impact on my life than you’ll ever know. All of the messages, tweets, songs, and passion for the beautiful game have left me humbled and forever grateful. To Bolton Wanderers and the Houston Dynamo, you welcomed me to the family and for that I am forever thankful. Now it's my turn to be a fan. To my loving family: Mom, Euan, Rachel and late father, Brian, I’ll be thanking you until my last day on this earth. I played for you, and none of this would have been possible without your love, support and commitment through all the years. I love you with all of my heart. To my wife, Karalyn, the best is yet to come. You are my rock, my livelihood, and I will never be able to completely thank you for the sacrifices you’ve made to help me pursue my career. You will be an amazing mother to our child. I love you so much and you inspire me every day to be a better human. You are the reason I can accomplish …
Item 3: Smile at the future. Let’s do this!
Speaking of the future, I’m not exactly sure what it holds, but that is OK by me. I have a passion and love for the game of soccer that will never be replaced. (Just got punched in the arm by Karalyn as she gets a strong contraction, which is another reminder that a possible replacement is coming.) But the reality is, soccer cannot truly be substituted because it was the first true love of my life. From a very young age, I poured my heart and soul into being the best I could be, and I kept the dream alive as long as I could. The game has rewarded me with a beautiful life and opportunities I never thought possible. The most recent opportunities will keep me in the game as a broadcaster, a coach, and maybe even as an owner one day. Who knows? Not me. What I do know is that I am 100% at peace with my decision to retire from playing, and I am 200% excited for the future. True closure has been hard to come by, but man it feels good.
It’s been one hell of a ride -- a ride that a wee lad from Aberdeen (that’s in Scotland for those who flunked geography) dreamt of, worked hard for, and made come true. One thing is for sure: you haven’t seen the end of me… but I might take a short break as the contractions are kicking my wife’s butt right now. That means it is time for Stuart Holden, the retired athlete and third-person self-referencer, to step up and deliver a life-winning assist! Child birth has just put all of my injuries into perspective. I now know that my wife is the real champ (and my Mom too)! Cheers to the release.
P.S. - As of 2:35 PM February 1st, 2016, I am officially a father to a beautiful baby girl, Kennady Rose Holden. Mom and Daughter are in great health and Dad is proud. Bring on parenthood.
Proud parents Stuart and Karalyn Holden with baby Kennady Rose.
I got a call that every soccer player dreams of a few days after our last game of the NWSL season.
My coach at the Western New York Flash, Paul Riley, had come up to me a couple of days before that and told me that Jill Ellis might bring me into National Team camp. I was really excited and anxious then, but when I got the call from Tim Ryder, the WNT General Manager, I was sitting in my living room, doing some packing and doing some phone interviews, so it caught me a bit off-guard.
I was trying to act very cool, but on the inside I was so excited. In fact, it’s highly likely that I didn’t sound cool at all.
He told me that I was invited into the training camp for the two games against Switzerland in Utah and Minnesota, but that I had to keep it under wraps until U.S. Soccer officially announced the roster. Of course, I immediately called my parents, my sister, and my boyfriend but I told them that WE ALL needed to keep it a secret.
The roster was announced a week later after we’d won the semifinal against Portland and before the NWSL Championship. I’m not the most talkative person, but it was hard keeping that secret for a week!
Before coming to Utah, I’d only been in a few youth camps with the Under-23s, and all those girls had known each other for a long time. Everyone was nice, but I remember feeling that they were a bit standoffish until you proved yourself, so that’s what I was expecting from the senior group, except times ten. These players are professionals, Olympic champions, World Cup champions and they have tremendous confidence in the environment.
I was a bit nervous about how to fit in.
Williams helped lead the WNY Flash to the club's first NWSL title as the league MVP and Golden Boot winner.
Soccer-wise, coming off the NWSL season, I felt fresh and confident, but I knew it was going to be hard. Coming into a National Team camp any time is hard, and I knew doing it for the first time was going to be a big challenge.
I was definitely nervous about the soccer.
Naturally, the veterans gravitate towards the veterans and the newbies gravitate towards the newbies, but there were 11 uncapped players going in so I knew I wasn’t going to be by myself. Of course, I also knew my Western New York teammates Sam Mewis and Abby Dahlkemper, so that was a bit more comforting.
What I didn’t expect was that the veterans would be so welcoming, on and off the field. When you made a mistake, they said “try this instead” and when you did something well, they would commend you for it. That support really made training even more fun. I learned a lot and every practice was awesome.
That said, training was intense. Everyone was so excited to get into camp that the first couple of days it was like a bunch of mad women running around. As Arin Gilliland said to a reporter, “WNT training is like the NWSL, on three cups of coffee.” It’s probably like five cups.
And it was not just the physical speed; the speed of thought is also so heightened. Playing in New York, sometimes I feel like I can get away with receiving the ball and then decide what to do with it. With the National Team, you have to have like three different options in your mind even before you receive the ball. I knew I needed to improve on that.
We got tons of information from the coaches. Some of the stuff you already know, but the language and the verbiage is different so you have to learn that. You have to learn how they want you to play in a particular formation, you have to learn your assignments on set plays and you have to learn it quickly. Fortunately, everyone is open to questions.
I asked Becky (Sauerbrunn) and Christen (Press) a million questions and my roommate Alyssa (Naeher) probably two million. I am sure she was thinking, “Man, this girl sure asks a lot of questions.” But I figured better to ask than not to ask and look like I have no idea what I’m doing, which I’m sure was still the case some of the time.
For me, the first few days were challenging. You’re trying to get a feel for all the players, their tendencies and how they like to play. Mentally, I think I was putting more pressure on myself that I needed to.
On the third day, I found out I would be a sub for the game. I told myself, “Lynn, stop being such a psycho, stopping being so chaotic, you know how to play soccer,” and I settled in a bit.
I thought I had a good practice the day before the game in Utah and then the day came and I told myself I needed to play even better in the game. After the game, I told myself I needed to play even better in the next practice. Of course, you can’t do that every day, but you have to challenge yourself and that’s the kind of attitude you have to have.Read more